The broken Engagement and the road to recovery

How many girls and guys out there are nearly married? I heard it just from a neighbour she was engaged and the guy cheated. So how come people go from thinking they will spend the rest of their lives together to never seeing each other again!?

I found this blog that talks about her broken engagement. Here is one of the posts she documented as a taster...

My Heart - Link to her site http://www.mybrokenengagement.com/

I want to post on a more regular basis. But I can’t. Every single post is tough. Every little bit of me hurts when I write the slightest thing. And it has been 2 years which makes it even worse. I have so much more to say and so much more to get off my chest but it really takes a lot out of me. It literally is like having the flu…which is gross…I know…but seriously it’s like throwing up and not having anything left to offer. Like laying on the bathroom floor and not being able to move. No energy. No anything.

I mean, it’s good that I’m writing, talking, cleansing, etc. However, nothing will change the fact that I had my heart broken. Nothing will ever change the fact that I thought my life was planned out. My girlfriend who recently got engaged said to me: “I get it now. I don’t know what I would do if my fiance called everything off. I don’t know how you are even dealing with it.” She has been friends with me since The Break Up. And now, just now…she understands. Maybe. I mean, you can’t really explain the heartache and the pain that IS a broken engagement.

How do you recover? I don’t know. I don’t think you do. I think it becomes a part of you. It has to make you a stronger person. It certainly has given me a lot of insight into who I am and what I am all about. I think. I don’t even know.

What do I think? 

• I think that it's good that it breaks before they are married and committed by law it's better to know before you have a family and get serious. Today some people really only consider their relationship once they come towards a big commitment of some kind, such as marriage, kids, moving in together and I guess anything to do with committing. Perhaps the one's that get divorced also had these doubts before marriage but were too scared to comfort them.
• How should you get over something like this?
• Firstly I am sympathetic that it hurts so firstly I am sorry it's happened and I do want to send my condolences to you now, but secondly I want to tell you to be strong and truly believe that the future will get better for you. You need to consider why it happened and be sure it happened for good. If you dwell too much on this and the past you will never move on, but on the other hand if you move on too quickly that can have adverse effects too.
• Why not focus on fixing your life first: Checklist
• How is your job? Perhaps you can focus on getting a better paid role so it provides you with more security, when you are alone you are down to one salary so it helps to save money, don't blow it on going out and getting drunk.
• Why not spend time with family and friends and build up your social life and connections, you should try and join clubs and learn new activities, set yourself goals to work towards that are nothing to do with relationships. So why not become good at cooking, get fit or go back to study.
•  Try to wish the best for your Ex and think of the positive things that you did together, being bitter is no good for you or your future
•  Get into a routine where it involves achievement, satisfaction, friendship and fun - don't be alone too much at this time (working more or taking up a new hobby can help you recover
•  Why not write a diary, blog or book about how you feel and every day in the morning or evening write in that, it can take the bad stuff out of you (It's not so good to keep it held inside)
•  Take up travelling, baking and writing - Organise things for the future that you can look forward to doing, try new things and surprise yourself

Don't:

• First 6- months to one year you should be on your own fixing who you are and finding independence and happiness
• Don't contact him during this time as you are vulnerable, send him an email explaining why you need alone time and then stop contact, after a time when you are strong then it's ok to be friends
• Don't blame yourself, see it as experience and at least there was a positive outcome soon enough
• Be strong and confident don't start to act out of character and beaver into a lonesome hole

What is your story?

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